When you are trying so hard to stay above the waters. But to only get jerked below the waves and catch that harsh water up your nose and stop the airflow to your lungs.
That is how I feel sometimes in my life.
I say this because of all the things I am dealing with at the moment. It seems like it just piles up more and more. As soon as one problem is taken down a notch I have another one.
Here are a few ...
First one:daughter and me problems that were resolved but to only be pushed back onto me once more.
Second one:Daughter's best friend moves in cause she needed help with somewhere to live. Now I have another mouth to feed and another person that used the washer and also she now has gotten in between me and my daughter's time together.(there are a few more to this but that will do)
Third one:Washer went out. Now I have to wash clothes by hand because we have no money to take them to the place to wash them. My daughter puts her work cloths into the washer with a small amount of items in a large load setting. That will make a washer work hard thinking it is suppose to because the setting is on large loads. I tried to tell her but she gets mad and storms off. I now have a blister on my finger from rubbing the cloths together between my knuckles.
I have went as far as taking my old cigarettes that were smoked already and get the tobacco out of them and use the paper around the filter to make a small version cigarette.yeah it works and gets what I am needing into me but man it takes me a while. All along the hubby and I are at each others throats.
Never smoke if you don't now. Hey don't say, "I won't".
I never smoked until my father past away.
Ok, now on to the next one(hey I told ya I am sinking here)
Fifth one: Food... no food to make things with. Yes ,I do, now, have meat but only hamburger and Pork tenderloin . Trust me when I say I am not disappointed about that. I can eat that no problem. But every time you start to cook the same thing over and over again, your younger ones yell and complain. "They are getting tired of such and such food." Well ,I throw at them,"don't like it? Then go somewhere else to eat or shut the heck up"
The good thing I guess is that they take their food to their room and eat there where I won't hear them complain more.
There is so many more ,problems, I am dealing with from- mental to physical. Just stopping there .I don't want you to get over whelmed as I am. hehehe Maybe things will change for us soon. I will leave it in God's hands. He knows what to do better than I ever will.
I can only ask for help from you my viewers and family or friends. I know I am not the only one in hard times. I understand not everyone has money to just push to someone that needs it. I figure that if God sends me a hand to pull me out of the water to get some fresh air I will grab it and take the help. Husband is a proud man and doesn't like asking for help. Even if that means I have to do things to helps us I don't want to.
I won't lie. I have done some jobs that most would never want to. But that is my mom in me. Never be too proud of taking a handout and never be too proud to not take crumbs. If you have read my blog then you know my story. You understand what I mean by I have dealt with a lot. From childhood until now as an adult. There are some things I will probably never ever tell anyone not even on my blog. I never hide anything about myself. I put it out there. I know the backlash it can cause in my life when I do.
But I find it helpful for me to just put my thoughts into words on my blog. I do understand also that no always is someone going to want to read such things as I put on my blog. But like I said. This is my little place to go to just throw my thoughts down. I just hope that I can make some money on the side from it.
What is the worst thing as a job you have ever done? I, probably, can beat it... Put yours below and we will see. ^.~