Well let me have your time because you will need to take some time to read all the crap I have in my life that I really now see I did not need. From people (yes people) to just stuff.I walk into my bedroom after a child that is an adult ,that doesn't even understand her own life, moves in and I have to move all my craft stuff into my bedroom. I did this because I care too much first and then worry about the bad things that could happen later. This happen not so long ago for me.
I let my daughter's best friend move in well we thought she would but ((( no))). Instead she took her time with her thoughts. The whole story of it is she was dealing with an abusive (and still is) child. I call him a child because he is in the mind set. He wants her right there where he can push her and know where she is at all times.
He came over to our house at around 4 am one morning to tell her to come home. He did this by banging on my daughter's bedroom window. All because she wouldn't answer her cell when he called. Really? Do I not have a front door or a house phone? Besides SHE WAS AT MY HOUSE.
and he knew this.....
But that was just the one time that I saw her deal with his crap. She kept to herself and doesn't tell me ,a mother to her. She knows about how I dealt with this type of abuse and even worse sometimes with my first husband. But she felt the need to run over here and bring that damage to my front door..or window. :/
Well she finally told me the truth and I told her "move back home baby girl". We are family and you do not need to deal with that. She would tell us that she was ready to be done with him. But she really wasn't. She tells everyone on her social media ,how a man that treats someone like that is worthless or says that no one should stay in that type relationships.
I can hear you say... (why doesn't she listen to her own advice?) I don't know. I try so hard to help but as you see from my older post on my blog all that what I go threw,All the time. Why do I do this to myself? I don't know. I guess I am no better than she is in a way. I take abuse from so many people ,even from myself.
I am learning though. Just having to weed threw it all and determine what my mind will throw away and get rid of. Well with her ,the worst for me pushed me too far. See after she told us she was ready we set up the house to get her moved in. But when that night came the girls went to the store and while they were gone HE(he= bf) showed up. Thank GOD for my husband being home that night.
He came to the door for once. That I know of. But he might have went to that window first. My husband opened the door.But first my husband motioned to me to stay back that it was him. I was ready why did I need to be told to stay back? I now understand after all that happened had ran threw my brain a few times. haha more than you can say.
Well he asked my husband ... Where is *****? I was behind my husband trying to get the dogs to hush. He looked past my husband and asked me like my husband wasn't there. That's how they work. (abusive men) They want to deal with a woman not a man. Cause they know they can brake her down or hurt her without being hurt themselves.
Well I looked up at him and just looked at my husband and he said (my husband) "She isn't here." The abuser:"Well where is she?" I looked up again and saw him look at me. I blurted out... "She isn't here." He got mad because no one would say where she is so he would know exactly where she is. So he asked "where is your daughter? I said "she is with ****.
My husband ,right away, right after I said what I did. "Don't worry where MY daughter is." As he stepped down out of the house to face the boy. My husband is tall 6'1 and the kid? he is about 5'5 maybe.haha was a sight. Well he did NOT like that and right away said well I am getting off your property dude cause your crazy.
O.o Were crazy? umm ..o..k.
Well my husband was being a bit stupid because he walked all the way out to the boy's truck and stood there as the boy got in his big truck and gunned the motor. My husband didn't move. The boy gunned it again but this time he moved forward and pushed the truck into my husband.
My husband did not move still. just bend with the truck.My husband yells at me to "stay back"! All I was doing was yelling at the boy that "I am calling the cops"(which I didn't).I then grabbed at my husband's shorts to pull him back. But he slapped my hand away and says to "stay out of it".
The boy then backed up and burned tires to leave. My husband scared him that bad. This is why I now will let other's handle crap like this. I just can't handle it like I use to be able to. Being I once was in an abusive relationship and my mind just spirals to that. Did she fallow threw? No!
The boy would be placed under an arrest and they would place him into a mental Hospital. But he stays maybe 3 or 4 days there. When she had the chance to move her things out while he was in there did she? No ,she him-hawed around and he was able to message her while in there! She talked to him even.
She wanted to be treated as an adult threw this, she told me.Well I did.I told her "he is not to come near my house". Not with her or on his own. I would call the cops. She kept telling me that she needed time to think about all of it. She couldn't just throw away all that time together.(that she needed to grieve.)
Well that day came. He got out and SHE picked him up from there and guess what.... she brought him over to MY HOUSE. YES! my house. Are you flipping kidding me? But she tried so hard to hide that fact. I was in my garage and herd the mail man that comes a second time threw and leave mail. I thought while folding the laundry I need to go out and get the mail.
Then I herd some loud bass coming in front of my house. Then as I went to go out to get the mail she walks in. She says she needed to grab something and head back out. (trying to keep my mind from knowing he was out there. As she walked threw to go to the bedroom to grab (a bong) she says "where is (my daughter)? " (I left out my daughter's name)
So that brought me back towards where she was. So I told her she had went for a walk. She was like okay well I will text her then. Well where ya off to? I asked . Then she says.. " I am an adult ,can I be an adult?" hmmm ooook. Well I fallowed behind her because as I said I was gonna go get the mail. She felt I was fallowing her. She was saying "You don't need to fallow me out." I looked at her with confusion and with question. Then I asked her....
He is out there isn't he?
She paused and then said yes. Just don't start anything Miss patty. I aint starting a damn thing. I am pissed off that YOU brought HIM to MY HOUSE. I told you to not bring him here.
Well just don't start anything. I don't need the stress.
Your joking right?
I am leaving and he is going to his grand parents so they will deal with him ,ok?
NO! NOT OK!
YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE TO MY HOUSE! I told you not to.
She says: Well he isn't on your property.
O.o umm yes he is. He is in my driveway.
Her:It isn't your property though.
O.O again yes it is!
By this time he was backing up.He was driving HER car. what the hell!! He looked over at me with this huge smile and a dumb ass tongue thing sticking out. Mocking at me that he won. Hey I could care less. She let you back into her life? She just allowed YOU to win. I am done. She can stay with him and his beatings. Don't come crying to the ones that were YOUR last help. Burnt bridges get rebuild yes but not this one.
Thank your lovely idiot and yourself for burning this bridge. My daughter has not talked to her either. She had forewarned her as well that if she went to him and helped him or took him back or anything dealing with him. It was over. friendships,help,family,a place to hang out even or move in for safety. But she didn't listen and now she has lost a best friend she has known since they were children.
I no longer want her around because of him. He caused her to loose every person that cares for her. "Now she has no one" she said in a text to my daughter. "How nice of you(my daughter) to just not be there for me(the friend) threw this." How she now "has no place to go but either the streets or stay with him as he beats on her."
That people, is how not to think when others were helping. We allowed ourselves to be pulled into her crap and we were subjected to stress, we only wanted to help her. But she basically spit in our faces and he laughed about it. So when a dog bites you ..do you shove your hand back in the dogs face to get bit again? NO!.. You don't. You get away from the dog and leave it be.
That is just a sample of the crap I deal with on a day to day basis. I try to help others because I think of others before myself. But now I must MUST think of MYself now.She is on her own. I am no longer helping. I am trusting that God will tend this and leave me out of it from here on out.
I am now and before all this been going to church every Sunday. I read my Bible every night. I am giving everything to God to deal with. I trust him more than I trust myself. I love him more than ANYTHING. He has this. I have come to far to let anyone make a mess anymore. I am only putting this on here to let go. ^.^ with that. Now go clean up your messes. But let GOD have it. ^.^
God bless you all and may you have a wonderful week.